HOW EYESTORM CAME ABOUT AND WHY WOMEN NEED TO STEP FORWARD
I’ve been holding corporate video workshops with mixed groups of women and men for quite a few years now and I’ve seen a sad pattern reveal itself.
The training I run is often in a room full of men and women. A manager has signed them up for the training, it’s business hours, they have to be there. But it’s not the normal escape, where they can hide in the audience, listen in and drink coffee.
For many, this is full on, crash-out-of-your-comfort-zone situation.
What usually happens is that the day starts and I look out over a group of faces – some are curious, some are inviting, but most of the women don’t even want to look at me, they want to go home, disappear, go into hiding.
But of course, I’m not there to intimidate them, I’m there to boost them, open up a conversation about blocks and fears, support them to get started and enjoy a process they’re pretty much petrified of. My hope is that by the end of the day, they’ve come out of their shell and started to enjoy the process.
Then what happens, is that I set up the video camera to get them into their first hands-on practice. First on the floor: The Men.
All men step forward, grab a camera and microphone and get talking. They love setting the light and they just get on with it.
But, The Women take a step back. They physically move backwards and want to melt into the wall.
Many freeze, they start stuttering. They blurt out a bit of a messy message and then they stop the camera and disappear as quickly as they can.
They have the same qualifications. Often the same title, same experience, same expertise. Yet, the men step forward, the women don’t. And this really saddens me.
One of the most important parts of my training, is the understanding of that it’s not actually about You, it’s about your knowledge and how you can support other people by sharing your expertise.
When you get stuck on your looks, when you hide from showing up and allow for your ego to take control of you, telling you that you’re not good enough, you’re not pretty enough, you’re not articulate enough – well, you’re feeding from the traditional expectations of women throughout history – that they’re not supposed to take up space unless they’re pretty, funny or rule like a devil in Prada.
SO, I realised that women needed a different type of training. They needed longer time to get used to seeing and hearing themselves.
They needed a more holistic training platform, where we worked on their deeper blocks and fears that could stem back a long long time.
We need more women to show up. We need more women to claim their rightful space, we need more female experts to be at the helm. Look at biggest mess in the world and who got us here. We need you to be brave enough to step forward!
A client who was feeling a bit overwhelmed by doing my 10-day Visibility Quest, expressed that she felt what Brene Brown calls “Shame Hangover”. She felt she’d been putting herself out there, really hard, every day, and she wasn’t used to it. She was feeling vulnerable and just wanted to go into hiding.
Of course this is normal when you first go out there, especially if you’re the face of your brand. It’s personal, it’s pressure, it’s scary! But again, you’re not there to show off, you’re there to support someone else. And you’re not standing half naked in a bar gobbling down margaritas, selling fake happy pills, you’re doing an amazing job and someone actually needs you!
So our job as women right now, as business owners, as experts, as mothers, as mentors – as sisters, as a community, is to set a brave example. To be you. Just the way you are. And go out there.
Step up and share your expertise. Lead the way for our daughters, to not just desire, but expect to be a natural part of management, advisory and decision making in our society.
Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to flourish, just the way you are. Show that you’re great and share your passion, and both your inside and your outside will become beautiful.
More than anything:
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